20 Real People With Unreal Names That Totally Dictated Their Destiny

The question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” never fails to induce anxious feelings in indecisive people…which tends to be most people. It’s not like you can just carry out your childhood dream of being a princess (unless you’re Kate Middleton, but that’s a different story). Right?

Well, sometimes what’s in a name can dictate your fate. When these people were born, their parents bestowed them with oddball calling cards that practically put their future career paths right in front of their faces. In hilarious fashion, they followed through with their fates!

1. Smokey the Bear has nothing on Lieutenant Les McBurney when it comes to fire safety. Les McBurney assures that Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, um, burns to a crisp less.


2. No matter how many times you’ve orbited the earth, you’re bound to love a good fart joke. Well, gastroenterologist Dr. Joshua Butt must hear them every single darn day. With that surname along with his chosen career path, flatulence just suits him.

3. Finding the right eye doctor can be just as tedious as scrubbing a tile floor with a toothbrush. But have no fear, Dr. Seawright will see you now, and she’ll help you see right.

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4. Usually it seems that the faster you enunciate a word, the more it sounds like utter gibberish. Aaron Farr begs to differ, as his name practically looks like it was taken right off a Mad Gab game card. This kid can run…far.

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5. You have to wonder if, at some point in his life, Brad planned on being anything other than a meat manager. Given that his name inspired everyone he met to eat a hamburger, though, he probably ended up in the right line of work.


6. Look out, BBC. When Sara Blizzard is in the house, you know a storm’s a-brewin. No really, the meterologist will inform you on everything you need to know about this week’s weather forecast. Suddenly, it’s a bit chilly in here.

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7. When hay fever strikes again, Dr. Faris P. Atchoo has got your back, or more likely your nose. Do patients bless him when he says his last name?

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8. With a name like Robin Mahfood, you’d think he’d make dining and dashing his adrenaline-fueled hobby. But as it turns out, Mahfood spends his days giving food rather than robin it.

9. Good ol’ Dr. McCracken will crack and correct everything from your cranium to your calves at his chiropractic clinic. Try saying that three times fast.


10. Scott Forrest must be a pretty feral dude, having won the International Tree Climbing Championship and all. The trees must’ve summoned him, whispering his name into the wind.

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11. “Hold up, your physician’s name is Dr. Docktor? You sure you didn’t stutter?” Well, as Muhammad Ali said, “it’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief.” This guy just really wanted to affirm he’s a doctor.


12. Just the mere idea of going to the dentist lives within the deepest, darkest crevices of fear in the minds of many. So with a name like Dr. Rachel B. Pullin… well, we hope she has at least a few patients. She won’t be pullin’ our teeth, that’s for sure.

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13. We’ve got a need, a need for Scott Speed. He was built for quickness, or at least named for it. While all racecar drivers have a reputation for goin’ fast, Scott Speed’s a living embodiment of the label.

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14. Dr. Michaela Blood must’ve grown up with a slight inkling that she should work in the medical field. Thankfully, she chose a life of testing blood rather than a life of sucking blood.

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15. The name Kitchin left a few career paths open to ol’ Tom. Were his name, say, Tom Linecook, he would’ve been relegated to the background in this BBC interview.

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16. For optimal health, we apparently should be drinking eight glasses of water a day, but don’t take it from us, Andrew Drinkwater researches water for a living. With all that hydration, his skin ought to be gleaming.

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17. Just hearing Dr. Mike Loosemore’s name might have you putting down that doughnut, especially if your name is also Mike. Either way, the doctor of exercise medicine is equipped to help you lose more… weight.

18. Alan Toogood, the Samaritans volunteer, evidently felt compelled to prove the legitimacy of his telling last name. Or perhaps Alan Toogood is just too good for this cruel world.

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19. His name isn’t Bob the Builder, but it might as well be. Paul Schwinghammer is your trusty builder who will swing all the hammers in all the right places.


20. Hmm, something smells fishy. It’s probably Ella Trout. Although we’ve all heard that there are plenty of fish in the sea, we think that the brave fisherwoman had a thing for trout. Sushi, anyone?


Even though they have the perfect names for the job, these workers no doubt struggle with bad days at work. Still, none of them have to put up with days this bad: even on their worst days, they only have to figuratively submerge half their body under what’s hopefully just muddy water.

2. The plastic ponchos, goggles, masks, and five-foot hose make most people glad they can’t see what was inside those port-a-potties. Because the evidence suggests it looked like an absolute war zone in there…

3. Speaking of spraying, before this guy started working, he wore a bright yellow jacket, helmet, and gloves. Then he spray-cleaned an asphalt tank and ended up looking like barely escaped an encounter with a lagoon monster. At least he didn’t blast a sewer.

4. They say a single bird in an aircraft’s engine can bring the whole plane down, so navigating this avian minefield must’ve had these pilots thinking about their safe, comfy beds. But which landing was harder: this, or the next one…

5. Landing a helicopter must be tough enough, but imagine the pilot’s face when he heard through his communication device, “yeah, we need you on a narrow mountain road, so just balance the chopper on the ledge, please.”

6. After spilling an army’s worth of milk in the backroom of Walmart, the employee considered crying. But he realized that would be of no use and took a very angry — and very wet — selfie instead.

7. In other spilled dairy news, this guy didn’t know what to do when he cracked a few hundred eggs on the warehouse floor, but it looks like he tried scooping the yolks back into the broken shells. It beat apologizing to the hens.

8. Who are you gonna call when you’ve totaled an entire pallet of paying customers’ cars by accidentally dumping them into the river? ‘Cause not even the Ghostbusters can help you there.

9. Other painful phone calls include the one where someone had to explain to the very rich owner of this Aston Martin that there was a bit of a loading snafu and that their car might be just a little bit totaled. This person did not have a good day at work.

10. Utility line worker is statistically one of the most dangerous jobs, so companies train their employees well. For that training, companies use lots like this, which look like they could moonlight as a circus training ground, too. Good luck not falling, guys!

11. Some days, you mess up so bad at work there’s nothing to do but put your hands on your hips and stare into the distance. How big of a tractor did these workers need to right this flipped-over tractor?

12. On a positive note, it looks like the workers filled the pothole they brought the concrete truck out to fix. Maybe they told that to the driver of this car as he or she tried to scrape concrete off the hood.

13. Photographer Barbara Joppel had a bad day at work when she found out her camera thief was actually a lioness. She could’ve coined a new phrase: “if you take photos on the African plains, make sure you bring a second camera.”

Barbara Joppel / Instagram

14. This was a man who, after a closing elevator snatched his vacuum, knew true defeat. His body language suggested his parents just sent him to his room for the night without WiFi access.

15. It’s already bad when you’re hired to do home repairs and you do the complete opposite by falling through the roof. But to then have the homeowner bash you with a broom while you’re stuck? Yeah, this guy wished he called out sick.

16. Any electrician walking into a job to see this rat’s nest of wires would probably dream of the warmth beneath the covers. But hey, at least they’re not on the bomb squad.

17. If a photocopier were to become self-aware and lash out at its human captors, the scene would look something like this: a bomb blast of ink just begging to be cleaned up by some unfortunate intern. As if copiers weren’t fickle enough…

18. This journalist might’ve looked up to this volleyball player’s skills on the court, but she literally looked up to a man about a foot taller than her (which wouldn’t jive with television cameras)! So, out came the stool — and off went the heels.

19. Someone didn’t think through the repercussions of driving with two open canisters of paint in their trunk; even the professional cleaners no doubt hired to clean this mess up thought about going home with head colds once they saw the aftermath.

20. There’s no salvaging the day when you’ve put a crane through someone’s roof. You might as well hop out of the driver’s cabin, hand over your resignation papers, and head back to bed.

Some days, folks can breeze through work without a problem. But if you’re a construction worker, the stakes can be a little higher. Still, they’re only human, and sometimes mistakes happen that can lead to some hilarious construction fails…

1. “Oh you’re telling me that North is that way? I thought it was that way…” This has to be what these architects and construction workers are talking about while standing on the edge of their really big mistake. Guess they have to start over now.

2. Which was built first, the staircase or the pillar? Sure, that’s one question you could ask, the other would be who on Earth thought this plan was a good one?

3. To work on a construction site you have to go through some form of Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) training, but you don’t learn how to handle a live alligator.

4. Urban development is on trend nowadays; luxury buildings with key amenities for smaller living spaces are all the rage. Placing the playground on the roof is genius, but aiming the slide off of the building might violate a building code or two…

5. This escalator was built for functionality as well as fun. As you approach the ceiling, you get to engage in an extreme game of limbo. “How low can you go?” Better be low enough to clear that ceiling, otherwise, the limbo isn’t the only thing getting rocked…

6. Some might see this construction design as a fail, but it’s actually a really smart design. The ATM was built out of reach to help you be more fiscally responsible. If you can’t reach the ATM, then you can’t take out money. Happy mistake?

7. Parkour is sweeping across countries all over the world. This apartment complex specifically built its outdoor hallways so that its residents could engage in the sport… at least that’s what the construction company told the owners when they completely messed up.

8. Construction workers handle heavy machinery anytime they’re on-site, so there are specific procedures and safety measures they have to follow. It’s clear that a worker goofed up. Maybe no one will notice.

9. A similar thought might go through your mind when you see something like this. Was the bridge constructed as a decorative piece, or were the pools supposed to connect under the bridge?

10. This construction worker seems to have forgotten how to connect PVC piping. Do you twist them together? Do you glue them together? Maybe you just place them on your arms like this. Yeah, this seems right.

11. When you don’t have a table for your circular saw, grab your best friend — they’re the next best thing. It isn’t like there is a table directly behind you or anything, but this is definitely quick thinking at its finest.

12. Construction workers oftentimes have to think on their feet. When this part of campus flooded, students couldn’t get to their classes for days. The solution? Throw some cinder blocks and some boards down and call it a day.

13. You get your bathroom remodeled and the contractor leaves after a hard day’s work. You go to use your brand new bathroom only to find that you can’t actually close the door. So much for privacy.

14. Something doesn’t look right about this situation right here. Does it just stay there like that, or are they going to get another expensive machine to try and retrieve the expensive machine they flipped over into a trench?

15. Either there is an invisible driveway attached to this garage, or the contractor messed up big time. Maybe if this was the year 2121 it would be a great place to park your flying car, but for now, we’ll chalk this up to one major screw up.

16. This construction fail is completely baffling. We’ve heard of stairs to nowhere, but ramps to nowhere are totally different. Don’t plan to ride your bike up it, you’ll just get stuck at the top.

17. It’s hard to believe that the contractor finished the project, looked at their work, and thought, “Yep, this is good.” At the very least, your face is covered so bathroom patrons can’t see your embarrassment.

18. At first glance, this door looks just like any other door you’ve seen before. Until you stare at it long enough and realize that it’s upside down! Theoretically, it should still function the same, you’ll just look like a fool when you squat to see who’s at the door.

19. In an effort to skip installing sink piping, this contractor just placed the sink above a urinal. That way, the water from the sink will drain into the urinal AND it will rinse the urinal all at the same time. We see the logic behind this… kind of.

20. This contractor had the best intentions at heart when constructing this fail. They simply wanted to give burglars an extra hard time trying to get into this attic! Hey, safety first, right?